How to become a ninja — for free !

Since I have heard that this is kind of a tradition, here are a few interesting search engine requests through which people have ended up on this website…

  • “демотиваторы” (41 hits) — Désolé, je n’ai pas compris.
  • “expensive computer” (11 hits) — I suggest giving Apple’s stuff a try, the company has specialized itselves in those.
  • “why would microsoft wish to introduce such a product?” (10 hits) — To instill pain and sorrow in the world of computing, and prevent the emergence of a sentient AI by bogging down the vast majority of our computers to the point where they can barely compute additions without lagging.
  • “star trek control panel desktop”/”sci-fi ship control panel” (10 hits) — I didn’t even know yet that I was thinking so far ahead !
  • “best current tablet” (9 hits) — None at the moment, I’m afraid they all suck. Maybe you should come back in a few years ?
  • “how to study ms dos” (8 hits) — With much patience…
  • “make excel leak programme exe” (7 hits) — Go to “Program Files (x86)”, then “Microsoft Excel”, open your eyes, and I’m sure that you will find that exe somewhere !
  • “microsoft windows xp backgrounds coffee” (7 hits) — Hmmm… nope. Nice try, though.
  • “how to open imac g3 case” (5 hits) — If it works like an eMac I would suggest removing the bottom screws, but before that, tell me : how would you end up there ?
  • “printed circuit board graphic flame” (5 hits) — Burn, PCB, burn !!!
  • “osdev kernel japan” (4 hits) — 申し訳ありませんが、私は日本に住んでいない.
  • “hi-res graphics and animation using assembly language” (3 hits) — Better learn C or C++ and OpenGL right away. Trust me, you’ll thank me for this one later.
  • “why javascript is more secure than c++” (3 hits) — Because it is easier to shoot yourself in the foot with a gun than with a plastic trumpet.
  • “my dream computer” (3 hits) — In a way, I believe that this guy hit the right place…
  • “what’s the lighted dot on the lower right corner of the imac screen for” (3 hits) — Power light. You wouldn’t believe how much people are interested in first-gen iMacs these days…
  • “gekkor mcfadden” (3 hits) — ???
  • “best tiling window manager for windows 7 2012” (3 hits) — Well, without a doubt, that would be Windows 8 !
  • “hadrien grasland” (2 hits) — Now you know, name googlers… ARE YOU AFRAID YET ???
  • “3 things private enterprise systems are called” (2 hits) — Bloated, poorly coded, and over-engineered.
  • “chromeos imac g4” (2 hits) — You should really tell Apple about this one :)
  • “why even buy a tablet” (2 hits) — Now, that’s a better question about tablets !
  • “imac unresponsive pink screen on startup” (2 hits) — PROTIP : Reduce porn consumption.
  • “most difficult c-code” (2 hits) — It’s not that bad, really…
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